Dan Brouwer
At this point in my life, 70 years old and retired, the following passage of scripture has become one of the main guiding lights in my life.
I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 3:10-14
As I look back on my life, I see things that make me cringe, due to the serious character flaws at that time in my life that are so evident to me now and that led me to say and do things that seriously hurt people. Putting it in general terms like this is only a little painful, but specific examples that come to mind (and there are many of them) stab at my heart like thorns on a rosebush. Although the past can’t be changed, and though these sins can’t simply be erased from my memory, Paul’s words here encourage and enable me to set them aside and focus on the present and future. I’m forgiven by God himself, and he invites me to forgive myself. That’s why I serve him.
In my earlier years, I often struggled with self-hatred and a heavy sense that God was angry with me, and I was terrified of spending an eternity in Hell. I vividly remember in my grade school years praying that God would give me one more year before I died so that I would have a chance to clean up my act and be ready to meet him. As the years passed, I asked for yet more time, because I realized I wasn’t making any meaningful progress. Finally, one night in desperation, I prayed, “Oh God, I don’t know what is wrong with me, but something sure is. Please fix me somehow. I don’t care how you do it. I don’t care how much it hurts. Just fix me somehow.”
Looking back on that prayer now, I gratefully recognize that I prayed it because Christ Jesus already had taken hold of me, convicting me of my sin and giving me hope that my cries to God for help were not falling on deaf ears. God answered that prayer by working in my heart and life over the years, enabling me to make a lot of progress in overcoming many of those character flaws that I knew in myself then, and many others that I gradually became aware of over time. Which brings me to the present time, in which I am continually becoming aware of further character flaws which not so long ago I didn’t know I had.
If you are alive in Christ, you know exactly what I am describing here, because you have experienced it yourself. We are all in the same boat. Since we are all in the same boat, why not row together? That is a very relevant question. When I was in the middle of those years of self-hatred and fear of Hell, I didn’t dare to confide in anyone about my struggles of faith. I only wonder how things may have been different if I had dared to open up to others as they opened up to me. As I get older, I increasingly value and avail myself of opportunities to join with other Christ followers in the mutual task of cultivating our character in Christ. I am also very grateful to be a member of a congregation that guides and encourages all of us in pressing on toward the goal of being more like Jesus.
So…men…if you are interested…
Dan is leading a Bible study called “Cultivating Our Character” every other Tuesday evening at Hillside. What he seeks in this time together is to apply the Biblical truths to our everyday living so that our character is changed in ways that make us more like Jesus. He hopes to do this by considering deep scriptural wisdom found in books such as How People Change by Timothy S. Lane and Paul David Tripp, Your God is Too Safe by Mark Buchanan, and Who You’re Becoming by Church DeGroat.
Of course, God’s Word is the backbone of any Christian wisdom for living, so he plans to include relevant scripture passages in discussion guides he will prepare for each session. He also intends to comb through his books and type out shortened excerpts that will help you make real progress together in Cultivating Our Character.
Each session will begin with a time of “share and prayer,” followed by the reading of the session's selected book excerpts, followed by discussion questions and scripture passages that will be emailed to each of you a week before the meeting. If you choose to prepare by reading the book excerpts and considering the discussion questions and included scripture questions, that would be great; but if you don’t have the time to do that, that’s fine too. Please email info@hillsidegr.org if you’re interested in attending.