Learning to Pray
Robyn Jadrich
I became a Christian at 21, and I was truly a babe in Christ. I knew nothing about Scripture or following Christ. However, after a few months, I was blessed to find a great church in the inner city of Melbourne that had a new Christians Bible Study. It was wonderful to be in a group where there were others new to the faith, as well as some lovely, older believers who could mentor us and respond to our many questions. These more mature Christians modeled prayer for me, but I also got together with the other newbies, and we would talk, pray, and have fellowship together.
I vividly remember the first time I prayed out loud in a group. It felt like such a breakthrough for me, and apparently, Satan did too, as I was attacked in a dream that night. It was scary, but I learned two important things. One, that I was a Christian, even in my dreams. So cool! Two, that praying with other believers is a threat to the enemy, and therefore, presumably, very important.
I ended up doing a Discipleship School through this church. I was going over to the US for Graduate School, so I thought it important to get grounded in the Word. It was a wonderful year for me, including the unexpected blessing of living in a community house. Prayer was very important there, and whenever I came into the house, people would be at the kitchen table praying together. It was here that I learned to pray with others - about anything and everything.
During that period, God put a burden on me to pray for my father’s salvation. I felt this burden must be from God, as the strong desire to do so would flow over me. Whenever it did, I would grab someone else, and we’d pray. This went on throughout that year, and I felt sure my dad would come to Christ. After all, it was God’s will and God’s burden, right? But my father died a few years later, and as far as I know, he never came to the Lord.
His death devastated me. Had I not prayed enough? (I had continued to pray for him regularly until he died.) Did prayer actually do anything? Did it work? It really rocked my faith. I didn’t know what to believe anymore. Still, the Bible said to pray. It said God hears us when we pray. So I didn’t give up on prayer, but those questions remained with me and are still there today. I believe prayer is important. I believe praying together with other believers is important and often neglected. But that nasty little voice can still whisper, “What’s the point? Why pray if prayer doesn’t change anything?”
A large number of books have been written attempting to answer these questions, and I’ve read lots of them. Some authors claim God is unchanging, so prayer cannot change His mind. Others, like C.S. Lewis, suggest prayer is meant to change us more than God or our circumstances. Yet, there are clear instances in Scripture where God seems to change His mind in answer to prayers or petitions (Exodus 32:12-14, Genesis 18:24, Jonah 3:4-10, Amos 7, for example). And the Bible exhorts us to earnestly petition God. Yet, sometimes it doesn’t seem to matter whether we pray or not. Would the outcome really be different if we did or didn’t pray?
I’ve come to the conclusion that many of these questions are unanswerable. Prayer is a mystery, but it matters. It matters even if we don’t see an answer. It is the channel we have to communicate with God and He with us. It is how He builds community amongst believers and with Himself. It’s the way He encourages us and goes through circumstances with us. Sometimes people are healed, saved, or restored in answer to prayer. Sometimes they’re not.
So, what, or how, should we pray? With expectation and humility. With the expectation that God can do anything. There is no limit! And with humility, because God is sovereign, and we are not. He is not our butler or vending machine, and He always knows what is ultimately best, as He can see the big picture. That doesn’t necessarily mean God brings on disasters, as we live in a sinful world. But He weeps with us when they come, and He goes through them with us, walking beside us as we cry out to Him. And when He doesn’t step in to fix things when He very easily could, we have to trust. We have to trust. And that can be hard.
One thing to remember in learning to pray in a group is that our prayers don’t have to be eloquent. I know mine aren’t. Nor do they have to be long. God knows our hearts, and that is all that matters. Start with short prayers. Perhaps speak aloud an attribute of God, such as “You are holy.” There. You’ve prayed out loud! Short and sweet.
Another suggestion is to note that there are lots of great prayers in the Bible that we can pray for others and ourselves. Paul’s prayers in Ephesians are among my favorites. They can help when they feel lost for words. So whatever you’re going through, go grab someone and pray. And trust God for the answer.
Then Jesus told them a parable to show them they should always pray and not give up. - Luke 18:1